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 "What Do Women Think about Erectile Dysfunction Men"

Men's Health > erectile dysfunction > spouses and impotency

Women and Impotency

Because of the emotional pain associated with ED, it's common for men to make excuses or avoid sexual situations with their partners in an effort to forget about the condition.

Whether intentional or unintentional, these actions can make a woman feel inadequate within the relationship, often resulting in rejection, loneliness and depression.

Common Fears of Women

Some women may fear they are no longer attractive to their partner or that her partner doesn't love her any more, or that his attitude is the result of something she may have done. Others may worry: "Is something wrong with our relationship?" Or, "Is he having an affair?"

Thus, a man's failure to communicate his condition may contribute to feelings of anxiety or depression in his partner, or lead her to express anger and frustration. After the initial concern that something is going wrong with the relationship, a woman may turn her frustration and disappointment into anger at her mate-especially if they don't communicate well. More likely, the reaction is self-blame.

Another strong emotion the partners of impotent men often feel is the fear that he may be physically ill. After all, it's generally known that about 85-90 percent of erectile problems are caused by an existing medical condition. Despite their worry, many women are reluctant to suggest that their partner see a doctor. Sometimes, both partners see a doctor. Sometimes, both partners avoid the issue entirely and pretend that everything is fine. This attitude can intensify anger or depression.


A woman's emotions regarding the impotence of her partner can be complex. And don't forget that the male partner is going through similar strong emotions. If you've had some of these feelings, remember that such emotions are normal and that most women dealing with impotence will experience them. Acknowledge them. Understand you're not alone and you're not unusual.

How do you tactfully broach the subject of impotence without inflicting more pain or embarrassment?

The place to begin is with yourself.

You must solicit your partner's support in solving the problem ... without it, you'll never overcome it. A simple statement, "I have a problem and I need your help in resolving it," obviously is the place for a man to begin.

Conquering Couples

Couples who can talk openly have a great advantage. Sharing fears and worries is a first step toward feeling better. Learning to laugh at yourselves is another. Decide if you're both motivated to resolve the problem. Once you've talked it over, you may find, to your surprise, that you're both content with things as they are.

But if you both want a sexual relationship that includes intercourse, your next step is to get good information about your options for treatment. Then visit your doctor-together. Regardless of the complex feelings impotence provoke in both women and men, the best way to settle the emotions, calm the fears, and resolve the impotence is to consider, as a couple, your options for effective treatment. Successful treatment is available.

Jim Shaw

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