On top of the Testosterone World
Allrighty then. I've got a new haircut, met a girl from the Internet (she comes over in the mornings) and I'm working out harder which is increasing my testosterone levels.
Let me check my list so far of things that will increase my Testosterone levels ...
- Get rid of the flopping belly
- Loose only a pound every week
- Have morning sex (thanks Mary and thank-you chat rooms!)
- Skip the Adkins diet crap
- Stick with tough exercises
- Do 5 rep's per set
- Do 3 sets of each weight lifting movement
- Rest harder than you work out
Let me check that journal...oh yeah here's the rest ...
Make nuts your midnight snack
"Nuts are good for your nuts" my physiology professor told us in school. Studies found that men who ate diets rich in monounsaturated fat - the kind found in peanuts - had the highest levels of testosterone. It's not really understood why this happens but some scientists believe that the monounsaturated fats have a direct effect on the testes. Nuts, olive oil, canola oil and peanut butter are all good sources. It also explains the high birth rate in the state of Georgia.
Drive home sober
To maintain a healthy count (that's count with an "O") cut yourself off after three drinks. Binge drinking will kill your testosterone levels. Maybe that's why my frat brothers girlfriends never got pregnant? The truth is, alcohol affects the endocrine system, causing your testes to stop its production. That's one reason why drinking often causes you to loose your erection at the moment of truth - or to start blubbering about your ex-girl like Jimmy Swaggert.
Have a sandwhich in the afternoon
Your body needs a steady and ready supply of calories to make your testosterone so regularly skipping meals or going for long stretches without eating can cause your levels to plummet. Maybe that's why Wardens don't feed their prisioners?
Convince her to buy fried tortilla chips
Eat a diet of 30% fat and not much less. Your body needs dietary fat to produce testosterone so eating like a vegetarian aerobics instructor will diminish you to drastic low levels. This is bad....unless your actually a vegetarian aerobics instructor. Plus it gives her something to vacuum up while you watch the game.
Stop surfing for porn until 2 a.m.
Although it's fun trying to close all of the pop-up windows on your favorite porn sites, Sleeping less than 7-8 hours a night can screw up your body's circadian rhythm. That's why it's no wonder your testosterone levels are higher in the morning after a good night's sleep. So if your work or social schedule keeps you stooped over in perpetual jet lag, you will stop craving sex.
Well, that covers all 13 ways to increase your testosterone naturally. It's late and I just closed my last pop-up window (hey, nobody's perfect) and I gotta get to bed.
Mary's coming in the morning.