Men's Health > penis enlargement > penis pump

Penis Pump

Poor Oklahoma City. As if they haven't been through enough already. It appears, Oklahoma City judge Donald Thompson has had to step down from the bench under allegations that he was using a penis pump beneath his robes during trials.

Apparently, a police officer was testifying during a trial presided over by Thompson, when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear up Thompson's robes. During lunch break, the police took pictures of the plastic tubing (then identified as a penis pump) under Thompson's desk, and later on, the investigation found semen on the carpet, the chair, and, of course, Thompson's robes. And it looks like this isn't a new habit. A court reporter saw Thompson use the pump almost daily during one murder trial, which, ironically, ended in a hung jury... pun intended.

For the uninitiated, a penis pump is basically a plastic penis-chamber attached to a hose and some variety of vacuum pump that withdraws air from the chamber. Around the base of the penis, there's a rubber lip that forms a seal with the skin. As air is pumped out, the penis is forced by the laws of physics to expand, drawing more blood into the erection. Penis pumps are used to enhance erection and increase penis size (more so in girth than length), both of which are totally possible with light to moderate pumping. Some practitioners use extreme pumping to do, well, extreme things to their members, but I don't recommend such activity, as it can permanently damage blood vessels and penile tissue.

I've never used a penis pump. But if it's great enough to get a judge to sacrifice his entire career, it must be quite the thing, no? I set out for Chinatown to procure and experiment with the instrument itself.

I select a penis pump from the floor-to-ceiling selection. I go with the Doc Johnson John Holmes Personal Pump, in order to “experience the legend first hand.” This little device promises to “Turn your average, everyday erection into the lean mean pounding machine it was meant to be.” At the counter, the charming Asian-American gentleman chuckles when I ask him if he does good business on these, nodding his head and saying, “Yes, we sell quite a few of these-at least one every day!” before double-bagging my purchase so that I can grab some soup at Pho Pasteur without getting any looks.

I'm now ready for an evening of Academy Awards and penis pumping. Nothing like watching Oprah talk about The Aviator while casually vacuuming myself.

I compare the sensation to a hickey, or a blowjob without the warmth or moisture of a human head-basically basically it feels like you would think it would, like your penis is encased in plastic and you're sucking the air out.

My penis is starting to get pretty red, but that's about it and there was no increased size after several days of treatment.

Perhaps it just didn't work for me because my penis encompasses all potential the human penis can, and also my progress is hampered by the fact that the cat watching is really creepy.

So ... I sat there looking at my plastic-sealed penis and contemplated.

I think that judge must have been really bored

Sam Fields