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 "Penis Size Advice"

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Advice on Penis Size

Penis size to most men is his identity.

Essentially, the bigger the better.

But however, Since 4MEN is geared 4MEN I thought I'd discuss the subject with my wife to obtain a counter-point persepctive.

Please remember ... the wife and I have been together a very long time ... so don't be surprised by her frank and blunt statements.

Me:Tell me dear, is penis size important to women...and remember I'm here in the room when you answer.
Wife:Iíve always felt that if I truly loved a man, the size of his penis would be no big deal. That is, until I met Dick (no kidding), who had the most minuscule one Iíd ever seen. At first I told Dick it didnít matter, but eventually it became a bone of contention between us. Bad enough that Dick was a Little Richard. What really mattered was that he didnít know how to use his penis, which would have made all the difference in the world. So the fact that he was as dull as a dead double-A battery (and not as big) led me to say toodle-oo to Tom Thumb.

Me:"I don't think you've ever told me about him. So, you're confirming my suspicion that size does matter?"
Wife:Iím sorry if that tiny tale made you cringe. In fact, if I read a story about a man who dumped a woman for having small breasts, Iíd think he, too, was shallow and petty. But the truth is, size does matter. It matters a lot less than whether youíre a nice, sensitive, funny, and charming guy, but it matters nonetheless.

My wife being the good doobie she is got together with her friends and these fine, refined and educated ladies came up with what they refer to as..the four phallus secrets women discuss when men are not around.

penis secret #1: Size matters
Ignore those monstrous horse rods in videos like Shut Up and Blow Me! Women donít want a schlong that could satisfy a filly. Most of us just want a penis thatís about seven inches long and has a bit of girth. Weíll take íem longer and thinner or shorter and chubbier. But your penis doesnít become a conversation piece unless itís at one extreme or the other. "There is absolutely nothing worse than a Crayola," says Tess, 32. "You know, the penis that is so thin, you feel like you should thread it rather than suck it. Performing oral sex should in no way resemble flossing. I sent my man an email about a penis enlargement site I found. He also discovered penis enlargement pills. It really made a difference!"

(Professor's note: According to the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, the average erect penis is only five to seven inches long and four to six inches around. To measure yourself against the masses, slide a ruler under your erect penis (uncircumcised men should retract the foreskin first). Press the ruler firmly against your body just beneath where the shaft protrudes from the groin, and gently lay your penis on top of the ruler. Then record the measurement to the tip of the head.

penis secret #2: We know all about your type
While you may well think your piston is standard issue, women realize that this part of the male engine comes in a wide variety of specifications. Each one has its particular identity, and each, say my girlfriends, has its particular virtues. The "candied apple," for example, is shaped like a lollipop: a big head on a slightly thinner stem. "Itís perfect for sucking," says Mary, 30. But the oversize top can make penetration a little trickier, at least in the initial stages. Just the opposite is the "dwindle top," which looks like a football player wearing a beret! This sharpened spear can make letting you in the back door a little easier for us. And Tracey, 34, is hooked on her boyfriendís "boomerang": the type that curves upward. In the right positions (particularly woman-on-top), this shape adds extra pleasurable pressure on our G spots.

Though the shape of your scepter adds to your penisí personality, women actually have much stronger opinions about sliced salamis versus those left unabridged. Jill, 34, loves a trimmed "hammerhead," saying itís more fun to run her tongue over. But Terry, 31, swears by the uncut "socking". "I love playing with the extra band of skin. Itís so sensitive." Speaking of which, guys, if you have been snipped, youíre probably less sensitive around the head, so coach your partner on how hard you want her to handle your package.

penis secret #3: We like your package gift-wrapped
Whether you are a helmet head or a hooded monk, two inches or 10, flat-topped or round, how you present your package is important. Above all, be clean. If thereís anything that can make a woman choke, itís the sight of skid-marked underwear or a whiff of dirty butt. "I like to lift up the sac and tickle that oh-so-sensitive spot underneath with my tongue," says 27-year-old Allison. "But you never know what kind of disgusting debris youíre going to encounter under there." So freshen up with soap and water, and donít even think of spritzing cologne on the sacred sac ... that stuff tastes awful and numbs our tongues.
Once your ensemble is clean as a whistle, wrap it up in some sexy undies. These days most women prefer the boxer briefs that have stormed the scene over baggy boxers and tighty-whities. If you really want her to kiss the rooster on the beak, skip the Fruit of the Looms and splurge on some Calvins.

penis secret #4: Make a mountain out of a molehill
If youíre like most men, you wish your rib was a just little longer and a bit fatter. Of course you can spend money on a penis enlargement program but hereís the good news: Just like we gals can fake orgasms, you guys can fake us out.

Lou Paget, author of How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure, suggests three positions to make Herman the One-Eyed German feel bigger to the ladies (and to you). You can get on top, enter her, then place your legs outside your partnerís, bracing your feet against something sturdy, like a headboard or wall. Then proceed with a slow rocking motion-rather than a standard in-and-out thrust-while she squeezes her legs together between your thighs for a supertight sensation. Or pile some pillows under her hips, and arch your back while you insert your penis to allow for a deep thrust. Or spoon your partner and have her bend her top leg up toward her breasts, then penetrate from the side. "Tilting her pelvis creates plenty of friction-as well as frontal stimulation-so sheíll feel your penis more," says Paget.

Paul Ellis

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