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Does Viagra Work

So, I'm alone in my car on the Schuylkill Expressway and all of a sudden I'm thinkin', "Hey, it's getting a little crowded in here."

That would be the Viagra kicking in.

There's been so much talk about the stronger longer pill that my bosses decided somebody had to do a first-person account - in the interest of science, of course.

Problem was, the first few male staffers they approached said, "No." Basically, because their ladies said, "No."


Go figure. Anyway, my lady said "No" too. I said, "OK, dear," then I took the damn thing anyway - in the interest of science, of course. I don't know what you do for a living. But yesterday I got paid to choke down a 50mg Viagra pill and then attempt to maintain a state of readiness for six hours. And, guys, I gotta tell ya. I think the boys down at the lab might be onto something here.

No, it's not a miracle drug. It doesn't add one millimeter to overall size. I know. I checked. Several times. Damn.

But, from what I could tell, the little blue pill does do something. It felt a little stronger for a little longer. On a scale of one to 10, I'd give it a four. And that's when I was by myself.

Anyway, I took the Viagra about 12:45 p.m., sat down at my office desk and spent the next hour writing an obituary. Nothing happened - which is a good thing. You don't want that sort of thing happening while you're writing obits. It's not natural. So I can assure you, this pill doesn't work all by itself. You have to have the desire first - and then you get an assist.

They say you can begin feeling the effects of Viagra in 30 minutes. Mine kicked in on the expressway about 90 minutes after I took it. I was on my way to Locust Walk on Penn's campus to check out the women. I sat on a bench about an hour and for more than half that time it was "up periscope." College never felt so good. I damn near enrolled.

Next I drove along Kelly and West River drives to try to come down. It worked. I spent some time girl-watching at City Hall, but nothing came of it. I think I was trying too hard.

So I decided to make it easy on myself and headed to the XXX-rated Forum Theater at 22nd and Market for inspiration. It was like Comedy Central for my little friend because he got two hours of stand-up.

Then it was back to the office grind which, believe me, is nothing like the Forum.

I didn't suffer any of the Viagra-induced drawbacks my doctor warned me about. No dizziness, nausea, headaches or blue-tinted vision. There were front effects, but no side effects.

However, I gotta tell ya, this was one of the most frustrating days I've ever spent. At age 46, I know my prime is behind me and I hated wasting so much sexual drive. All dressed up and nowhere to go, if you know what I mean.

But I have one more pill left.

Hello-o-o-o-o weekend!

Sam Fields

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